- *The following is part of the A to Z Blogging Challenge 2011*
Today's post is brought to you by the letter Y....Yearning.
There's many things that I yearn. I'm in a transitional phase lately and I find myself yearning for many things. Yearning for more time to write, more time to meditate, more time to spend with my growing children, yearning for a friendship that is strong but now restricted by a new barrier called state lines, yearning for peace of mind that the decisions I've made; the decisions I'm going to make in the future even, are good ones. I yearn for so many things...like most people. I got a taste of something over the last year that is being ripped away from me. I'm happy for the other party involved...it's their moment to grow; to expand their wings and do something good for their family. On the selfish side, I'm losing something that I have never experienced before...a very strong relationship...by relationship I mean friendship on a whole new level than I've ever experienced. I gained a friend who understood my humor, knew when I was having one of those bipolar moments and needed someone to talk me down off the ceiling, knew what I meant when I got giddy over the proper usage of a word, knew without me opening my mouth what was going on in my head, knew that was too humble to ask for more when it came to certain things, and knew me like an open book with footnotes. This person opened my eyes to a whole new way of looking at the world...made me yearn for more out of my life. I yearn to grow even more. I can't go back to be in the closed off box that I was told to be in. I yearn for a better way in the world and thanks to this person I know I can have it...or at least I have the strength and right to go for it. This person who I'll call Theo (ThA-O) from here on out gave me such a wonderful gift in life. I thought that maybe Theo had ruined future relationships from here on out but I realized something very special in the midst of my tears last night. My future relationships haven't been ruined, Theo has made me realize that. I want more out of life and I don't have to settle for what just is. I yearn for a conversation that is equal, I yearn for someone who loves and gets the line "Oh and I can kill you with my brain" and giggles privately with me. I yearn for laughing and crying and deep intellectual conversations about everything from God to the Joss Whedon Verse. I yearn for so many things but the great thing about my time with Theo is that I've had my eyes and heart open to the possibilities that are out there. As long as I continue facing this life just like that...eyes and heart wide open...I can have all those things...in due time.
Thank you Theo for the most amazing gift anyone has ever given me. And if you read this, remember one thing...when things get to rough out there, just remember to ask yourself one question:
"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"
Best wishes Theo...don't be a stranger.
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