The Lipstick Logic
In 1995, my Grandfather passed away. My step-grandmother, who relied on him completely fell into a deep depression. Now Grandma Ruby is from the old south. She was married "off" at 14 had her first child before reaching 15 and worked in the fields most of her early life. She wasn't allowed to learn to drive before she met my Grandfather and then she was too scared to. He always said he was going to drive Ms. Daisy to town with a sweet grin.
He passed away after a lengthy battle. After his death, Grandma Ruby could hardly stand to get out of bed. She spent her days in her housecoat. This is a real no-no for Southern women by the way. After two months of this my Aunt took her to the doctor for a routine check on her Diabetes. She also ratted her out about her depression. Grandma caved and spilled the horrid details of how hollow she felt without my Grandfather. She told him she just didn't have the energy to breath let alone get dressed. There was just no point to it.
What happened next has become my motto for my own battles.
The Doctor looked at her and said, "Tomorrow morning, get up and put on lipstick."
My grandmother looked at him like he was an idiot. I probably would have too. They left the office and my grandmother was the same. A few mornings later, while staring in the mirror, she took a deep breath, and thought "This is insane" She'd reached her breaking point though and decided to follow her Doctor's advice. She said she put on her favorite lipstick, looked in the mirror and thought she looked ridiculous standing there with lipstick on and a messy head of hair. So she washed and set her hair. Fluffed it, sprayed it, patted it a little. It looked pretty good when she was done. Then she noticed her eyes were a little blah so she dabbed on a little more make up. There she stood, hair fixed, make up on, standing in her ratty old housecoat. She thought she looked ridiculous. Momentarily she almost wiped it all off but she froze at her image because for the first time in a months she looked like the woman my Grandfather always kissed in the mornings. She smiled and decided to go put on something a little nicer. She donned her favorite dress just for the heck of it and slid into her favorite white flats. (This woman is only 4'10" on a good day). Standing in the mirror she realized she was all dressed up and for the first time in as long as she could remember she wanted some place to go.
She called one of my Aunts to come get her to go somewhere. "Where?" they asked. "Anywhere." She replied. My Aunt Connie nearly fell off the porch when my Grandmother answered the door looking like the well coiffed mother she had always known. (See my grandmother was a true Southern Belle and you did not go unattended). From that day forward my Grandmother has always said the secret to a happy life is to put your lipstick on.
That on little act snapped her out of her consuming depression. She still missed him, we all do. But she found a way to move forward with out moving on. Most of all, she taught me a valuable lesson. Depression isn't the end all be all of life. A simple item like a tube of lipstick can be the most powerful weapon in the world.
So ladies next time your blue or life has hit you hard...put your lipstick on and let the rest flow naturally.
3 comments:
This is a wonderful post. This is so important to me as a Psychologist to understand when helping people through the difficult times of depression. It is good to keep things simple. It is also important to understand that it isn't always simple. But like you said depression is not the end all be all. It is something that can and is overcome. Great post.
I love this post! lipstick logic. It reminds me of a saying "suit up and show up". Just get dressed even if you feel don't feel like it, and your survival instincts will kick in.
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