Yesterday I reviewed Hide and Watch by Jill Hicks Lawson. I have the great privilege of knowing Jill and she granted me the honor of interviewing her. This book is a great testimony of Jill’s journey with her mother and the book has been a journey in and of itself. She shares a little with us about that.Cat: What inspired you to put your testimony into book form?
Jill: This story simply began as my personal Christian testimony of God’s love, hope and faithfulness in my life. Through the writing of this book, I wanted to encourage others to find hope through the love of Jesus Christ by sharing my personal story of how God worked in my life after I lost my mother an organ recipient after our kidney transplant in August 2001.
Cat: Originally, you had done this on video. What was the process to take your testimony from video to book form?
Jill: I began documenting Mom’s medical information before the transplant surgery, mainly to keep the info current for her dialysis clinic visits with her doctors and nurses. When the local newspaper wanted to interview us for an article in November 2001 after the transplant surgery, I prepared this information prior to the interview to document the medical details and timeline of our story for the newspaper article. When I wrote my testimony in 2007, I elaborated on this information to share more details about the events of our journey, expanded on it with more history about me and my family, and eventually, it grew into the book project in 2009.
As far as research for the book, I wanted to know more about my mother as a young woman, so I interviewed some of her friends who had known her the longest, asking questions about Mom and what they remembered about her that stood out in their minds. I spent many enjoyable afternoons talking to these women, taping our conversations as I made notes to the questions I had prepared prior to my visit. It was really interesting to learn more about the young girl who became the strong woman who I knew only as my mother, and the end result of these interviews was that I felt more love and respect for this woman than I ever had. I knew after hearing these stories that I had to share this extraordinary woman and our story with the world.
After several additions and revisions, I completed the book in late October 2009. In November, I discovered CrossBooks Publishing, a division of Lifeway Christian Resources, contacted them about publishing the book, and submitted my manuscript to them in early December. All books submitted to CrossBooks go through a very detailed theological review, and I was very pleased when I was notified that my book had been accepted for publication. I was assigned my own publishing consultant, who communicated with me throughout every stage of the production process. Regarding the cover of the book, I shared with the design team my thoughts of how the message of peace is so much a part of this story, and that I kept envisioning a white dove and white clouds on the cover. The design team created this cover from this idea and what you see on the cover of the book is exactly the vision that I had. My book Hide and Watch was officially published in January 2010.
Cat: What has been your biggest obstacle to overcome during this whole process?
Jill: The biggest obstacle that I’ve had to overcome was letting go of being an unpublished author. I couldn’t help but have doubt as to whether anyone would be interested in reading a story written by an unpublished author from a small rural community in Kentucky that no one had ever heard of.
Cat: What was the hardest part of writing Hide and Watch?
Jill: Writing this book was a very emotional experience for me on so many levels. While I was writing, the experience of going back and recounting painful periods of my life was very emotionally draining, yet very therapeutic and healing. I cannot count the days that I wrote through waves of anguish and tears, constantly having to calm myself and try to focus on the words I wanted to share. If you can imagine hearing an old classic song from your past, the song immediately takes you back to where you were when you first heard it, and the emotions you felt at that time suddenly becomes very real and palpable once again. I experienced this on a daily basis…
Despite the pain I had to go through as I recounted these memories, it was also very healing to take this look back and see that I had been able to overcome that pain and anguish in my life, even though at the time, I didn’t think my immediate pain could get any worse. It was as if I was reassuring my old self of that old adage I’d heard all of my life—what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I am just so grateful to God for carrying me as I put these emotions into words. There were many days that God simply took over when the pain became too great—He intervened when I thought I couldn’t write another word. When He took over, the words flowed so fast that I honestly couldn’t keep up. I would type so fast that I wasn’t always “reading” the words that would be streaming across the page. It was only later that I would feel the need to take a break that I would go back and read what I had written. I am a person who writes and corresponds regularly through e-mail, so I have certain phrases or ways that I put words together that are common to me. I can honestly say that while writing this book, I would go back and read what I had written and find words and phrases that I had never used before in my life. It was truly a very amazing experience to see words that I didn’t recognize as my own, and know where they had come from.
Besides being very deeply emotional for me personally, this process of reliving this story of loss and grief was also very emotional for my family. This was a shared experience--I wrote this story on behalf of my mother, my father, my brothers and my sister, as well as my husband. It was crucial to me that the story I shared was accurate by all of our recollections, so I had to depend on them to fill in many gaps in the story, which meant that they had to be willing to share with me what they remembered. I know that it wasn’t always easy for them to share these painful details. We all grieve in our own way and in our own time, and I deeply appreciate their courage and strength. I could not have shared this story without their support and contribution.
Cat: In the book you tell about the mysterious lines on the VHS tapes. Do you think that was a sign that this testimony was supposed to be in book form? What do you make of those lines?
Jill: Yes, that was quite a mystery—and I still have no idea what to make of its occurrence and why we couldn’t see it when we viewed, either before or after it was returned to us. Initially, Steve and I did take this as a sign that we were supposed to complete this VHS to video process ourselves and not involve anyone else. Once we obtained the machine to do this, everything did seem to just fall into place perfectly.
At almost 30 minutes, the video testimony only touches on the story itself. I knew that there was so much more that I wanted to share, along with what happened with the making of the video, so making the decision to write the book was an easy one.
Cat: Do you now or did you before consider yourself a writer?
Jill: I have been interested in reading and literature from an early age and can honestly say that I always had creative aspirations to be a writer. As a young girl, I read constantly—I always had a book with me. I also loved to write poetry and entered several of my poems in local 4-H poetry contests. I can remember handwriting my poems, then enlisting the help of others who graciously typed my poems for me. My passion for writing continued to grow with the support and encouragement of my high school English teachers. In the 11th grade, I entered the Avon-Flare Young Adult Novel Competition with my first manuscript entitled “A Whisper from Eternity”. I didn’t win the writing competition, but found that the experience of writing my first manuscript only fueled my passion for writing that much more. Unfortunately, it was many years before I was able to tap into that creative side again, as I made life and career decisions that took me away from writing.
When I returned to college for the second time in 1997, I chose to minor in Literature for no other reason that pleasure. I majored in Paralegal Studies, and made the personal decision to choose this minor area of study, rather than follow my college advisor’s advice to minor in Political Science or Pre-Law. My reason being that I had no plans to go on to law school, as my paralegal classmates were considering. I knew that I was a writer and to be able to study the classic writers of literature was an opportunity that I determined I was not going to pass up. I knew I had made the right decision when I received encouragement from several of my English professors to continue my writing endeavors.
Cat: You’ve had an interesting career life. What has been your favorite job?
Jill: There are aspects of each career path I’ve chosen that I’ve enjoyed, but for the most part, working with grieving families has been the most gratifying work that I’ve been blessed to be a part of thus far in my life. Serving in this capacity was not so much “work” as being in a position of providing comfort and compassion to another person in need. After losing my own mother, I found that I developed a deeper level of compassion and understanding for others. When I shared of my own loss with each family, I wanted them to know that I personally understood the depth of their loss and that they could trust that their personal wishes concerning their loved one would be carried out. To be in a position to be able to provide comfort to a grieving family is very gratifying, and for this reason, my work as a funeral director will always stand out in my mind as a blessing.
Cat: What advice would you give to someone going through personal struggles either medical or spiritual?
Jill: I would encourage that person to seek strength from God through personal prayer. God will meet you right where you are—He is always there, waiting for you to come to Him with your personal prayer requests, no matter how small or large.
Cat: Other than your book of course, do you have any books that you would recommend to others?
Jill: My interests are varied, but a few books that I consider high on my list of personal favorites are: Possession by A.S. Byatt, The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco, along with Angel Time by Anne Rice.
Cat: What books have influenced you in your life?
Jill: I love to read books written by Kentucky authors, such as, Bobbie Ann Mason and Harriette Simpson Arnow, to name a few. These writers are like kindred spirits and it is their influence that encourages me to continue to write. Having said this, I will share that there is one very special book that found its way into my hands at just the right time, and had I not read this book when I did, it is possible that my book may not have made it to publication. The book is called My Glimpse of Eternity by Betty Malz. (Jill shares the details of why this particular book influenced her the way that it did later in this interview.)
Cat: What are you currently reading?
Jill: I just finished reading the Kindle version of Heaven Is For Real by Todd Burpo. This story is told through the eyes of the father of a five year old boy, who shares details of his near death experience and his personal glimpse of Heaven. I am also reading Waking the Dead by John Eldredge, a very empowering and encouraging book about finding and embracing the life that Christ has promised us
Cat: Do you have plans to write more?
Jill: I have been asked this question quite often lately, and the answer is a definite yes. Most have asked when I will continue the Hide and Watch story, but my response is that I am waiting right along with them! While I was writing the book, it just seemed that God allowed work/home circumstances in my life to work out to allow me to have that time I needed to write. I understand that writers always find time to write, but for me, inspiration and motivation has to play a big part in my writing. The next book will either be the Hide and Watch sequel or another book that God leads me to write.
Cat: What has been the worst thing for you since the book came out?
Jill: Honestly, at this point in time, I cannot think of anything negative that has occurred since the book has been published. The whole experience has been extremely positive.
Cat: What has been the best thing for you since the book came out?
Jill: I am simply overwhelmed by the positive reaction to the book. Honestly, I have been blessed in ways that I never could have ever imagined. To know that this book has blessed others is just humbling to me, as I have heard so many positive responses from readers and how it has blessed and encouraged them. I think that the best reaction is that people are actively sharing the book with others, and allowing the ripple effect to continue.
In October 2010, I held my first book signing at The Wayne County Museum in Monticello, and again in December 2010 in Albany, KY at the Clinton County Public Library. I was very pleased with the turnout for both events and hope to schedule more in the near future.
Cat: What do you hope people will take from the book?
Jill: It is my hope and prayer that readers will be encouraged by this story to trust in God and His unending love and faithfulness for His children, no matter what trial or struggle they are going through. He never fails us, if we trust Him. If they already have a relationship with Him, I hope that their faith is strengthened. If they don’t know God, I hope that they will come to know Him.
Cat: Is there anything you’d like to add to the interview?
Jill: I feel led to share an experience that I had before this book was published…
It was a rainy day in September 2009 when I accompanied my husband Steve to Richmond, KY for a day of job training that he was participating in. After dropping him off at the training facility, I was looking forward to a full day to myself and I chose to spend it reading at the local public library. I am an avid reader, but on this particular occasion, I chose not to bring a book to read. When I stepped in that building, I quietly said a prayer and asked God to lead me to the book that He wanted me to read that day. After scanning the rows and rows of books in the religion section, my eyes seemed to keep falling on one particular book. I would move away, pick up one or two and read the back cover info, but none seemed to peak my interest the way that this book seemed to. I honestly felt drawn to it, so I decided that this must be “the one”. I found a comfortable chair in a secluded corner in the library and dove right in…
A few hours later, I was so deeply entrenched in this story that I had lost all track of time. I felt her pain as the writer suffered, and I felt her joy and enlightenment as God revealed His love in her life. As the rain came down in buckets outside, I found myself being lifted up by her words of comfort and hope, and I knew that I simply could not put this book down until I finished it.
Already feeling so lifted up by this story and praising God for guiding me to it, I finally reached the end where the writer shared about her visit with her mother and father-in law at the farm in rural Kentucky where they had retired. When I read that “they had relocated to the Duvall Valley community just outside of Albany, Kentucky”, I honestly couldn’t contain my shock and disbelief at the words and almost dropped the book out of my hands. This is when I knew without a doubt that God had led me to this specific book, because I currently live in Albany, Kentucky. Too much of a coincidence…I don’t think so!
To make this story even more meaningful, there is a particular reason why I feel God led me to this book, “My Glimpse of Eternity”, by Betty Malz. At the time I read this book, I had been writing this story of my own about God’s working in my life through a personal experience involving my mother’s death.
It is through this story that I share how I donated a kidney to my mother in August 2001, but despite our best hopes, she passed away five months later after an unexpected stroke and heart failure. I went through a very difficult period after losing my mother and organ recipient, but I have since found my life blessed by God in so many ways that I felt led to share our story to encourage others to look to God for strength, hope and courage in their lives.
In the months prior to this day, I had been writing off and on as my pain and emotions would allow, but found myself in a place of doubt as to whether my story could truly make an impact. I wanted so much to bring honor and glory to God through sharing this story in book form, but I was discouraged that it wasn’t going to be a very long book compared to the length of most books. Besides this, the biggest obstacle of all was that I was not a published author. I couldn’t help but have doubt as to whether anyone would be interested in reading a story written by an unpublished author from a small rural community in Kentucky that no one had ever heard of.
That was, until God led me to read this story…
By leading me to this particular book, I felt that God was telling me that my story really was worth sharing. Through this experience, I felt that He was telling me that the length of pages of a book is not what is most important, but that it is the message that is found in those pages. I feel that He was pointing me to look at how many people have been impacted and encouraged by this small book (over 400,000+), and that my book has the same potential to impact lives too. I realized that my role is simply to be the pen and share the story as it happened to me, and that God will take it where He wants it to go.
The book is currently available online at CrossBooks.com, Lifeway.com, Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com and other major online retailers as well as in Cat's Corner Store on this site.
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