Summer Vacations from H-E-double hockey sticks 2010

I look forward to summer vacation. It’s the one week of the year that we get to do things together that normally wouldn’t be possible for various reasons like schedules, money, other responsibilities, and a ton of other things. Last year we had a great time. I planned a great week of activities in state. After all, I’m not originally from Kentucky so even a state park is new to me. We explored Mammoth Cave, had an adventurous ride down a very suspicious quarter mile alpine slide, went half way across the state and spent the day at an amusement/water park, and fell in love with Green River Lake. The kids even said it was better than the trek to Florida we made several years ago.

With such great memories from last year’s vacation, I decided we’d do a repeat with different attractions. The kids were all for it and even made a list of places they wanted to go and posted it on the board in the kitchen. Great. Vacation was scheduled and even I was excited. I had happy thoughts especially with the added Friday before off from work. Yay me! It was looking like the perfect vacation.

The funny thing about expectations? They always let you down in some way. Friday was great. We did some errands and just chillaxed. Saturday morning I woke up with that face smashed in the pillow feeling. You know the one? when you sleep so hard your face is coated with drool. As I got up and stumbled to the coffee pot and then on to the bathroom I couldn’t shake the feeling that my face was still asleep. A quick glance in the mirror revealed I wouldn’t be losing that feeling anytime soon. The right side of my face was a bit puffy. Not too bad but enough to be slightly annoying. I dealt with it. After all, this is vacation and time for f-u-n!  Sunday morning I woke again with that face smashed in the pillow. Only this time my eye felt a bit puffy. That turned out to be an understatement. The right side of my face looked as if someone blew up balloons under my skin. I even had a bit of a black eye on the right side. I also developed a pounding headache. I pushed through the day. I mean, after all, it’s vacation time. Woo who! Monday morning I couldn’t ignore it any longer. I dragged myself to the doctor who informed me that I had an inner infection and basically my sinuses backed up into my face. I had snot face!

Great, what a way to start the week. Doc did take mercy on me and prescribed a round of steroids and antibiotics to wipe it out quickly so I could enjoy my vacation. I dropped off my prescriptions and waited for an hour with my pounding headache and puffy face. When I finally got to pick up my meds I was informed I no longer had insurance. WHAT? They said my insurance terminated on June 30, 2010. This was news to me since after all I’ve worked for the state for over four years uninterrupted. Well, after 45 minutes of trying to figure it out to no avail, I shelled out 90 bucks and went on my way. By the time, I made it home I was zapped and slept the afternoon away.

The next day wasn’t much better. I don’t react well to medication...especially decongestants. I was driving in the rain and the windshield wipers started to trip me out. They were like spaghetti flipping and flopping all over the place. I decided it was time to turn around, go home, and crawl back in bed until the next day.  I pretty much did sleep until the next day. Let me add that while the kids were a bit pouty they were great in letting me rest and looked forward to later in the week for our fun time.
On Wednesday I woke up feeling like a brand new woman. I was full of energy and ready to hit the open road. I loaded up the family and we headed to the lake for the day. It was such a gorgeous day. We spent the entire afternoon swimming and picnicking. I covered all of us from head to toe with SPF 50. I wasn’t taking any chances. Well, ok I did take some chances with my whiter than white legs and soaked them with tanning oil. After a few hours, we all headed home. A few red faces but overall none of the kids were burnt. I say none of the kids because the two people who were born and raised at the beach (mom & myself) were a tad pink. Still not a big deal. It was a great day. I did get a blister on my right ankle from the shoes I wore in the lake (can’t stand the feeling of the rocks on my feet). Still no biggie.

Once at home, the shower rotation started. I’m mom so I’m last. This might have been a good thing since I spent a good 45 minutes in tears after I got out of the shower. You know that red cartoon characters turn when they get “steamed”? Well imagine that only redder...four shades redder. No, not my legs which I believe turned even whiter. From my lower back up and over to my breast line I was as red as an over ripened strawberry. I promise I used sunscreen.

After a long night of turning and screaming and wetting towels to wrap around my crispy body. I woke up determined to continue the fun. Once again, I loaded up the family to head to a Mammoth Cave for a non-sun event. Clad in a spaghetti strap top (woman over 30 shouldn’t wear them, I know but OMG I was miserable), we took our place in line for the cave tour. I quickly discovered that a charred thirty something woman is apparently more of an attraction for gawkers than one of the world’s largest cave system. I can’t count how many times I heard the words “That’s gotta hurt” or “look at that sunburn”. Yeah well I felt it. It was hot and not in a sexy mama kind of way. The plus was that the cave system is a constant 54 degrees year round. I would have paid triple to just sit down there all day. Ahhh! It was heaven under earth. We took the tour. Trekked from one end to the other and somewhere along the way I slipped a little. No biggie. Just a little slip of the foot. I was good. I was cool. I was comfortable.

After a day of tramping around under ground, we headed home. I’ll admit it now. I was exhausted and hot. My body felt like it was getting hotter and hotter. Air was killing me; not to mention that the cloth on my body was like sandpaper with spikes. I got home, greased myself down with aloe, popped a few Tylenol and tried desperately to pass out. I slept in spurts...interrupted by my own screams of pain as it felt like my flesh was being ripped off with a dull spoon every time I tried to turn over.  I final managed some sleep.

The next morning I woke up feeling worse for wear but determined to enjoy vacation. I swung my feet over the side of the bed wondering who turned the air off, it was stifling. Pushing my burnt body up on my feet and smothering the urge to scream again , I felt a pinch and pull in my left foot. Looking down, I noticed my ankle was swollen and purple. This ain’t good. I limped into the living room noticing the air was on but man was it still hot. I hobbled into the bathroom and the face looking back at me looked like something from a horror movie. It wasn’t my face and as if I wasn’t already red enough I was redder with blisters everywhere.

After another trip to the doctor, I found out that 1)I had a sprained ankle and 2) I had sun positioning.  Apparently, some steroids and antibiotics make your exposure to sun more intense. Basically, all the drugs I was on to clear up my swollen, fat face cancelled out my sunblock. Yay me! So with a fever of 102 and blisters everywhere and a face that even leather face would shun, I spent the remainder of the weekend pouring fluids down me, popping Tylenol & ibuprofen, rubbing aloe, vinegar, and vitamin E oil all over me and trying to rest without leaking all over the furniture.

I decided that work is the safest place for me. Vacation 2010: swollen face, ear infection, fight with insurance company, sun poising, blistered ankle, sprained ankle, and oh, almost forgot...I chipped a tooth. Yes, I’ll stick with winter vacations from now on. Summer is hazardous to my health.  

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sorry you had so much happen to you, but it did make an interesting post!!

Cat said...

Looking back now, in the safety of my recovery, it was too funny not to enjoy. No one lost an eye so it's all good!

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