The wind is an amazing force. Scary and tranquil all at the same time. Sitting here at me desk at work, it’s roaring outside. Some how it’s putting my heart at peace. I want to stand out in the middle of it and let the wind whip my hair everywhere. It’s like forces coming at me from all directions. I’ve always loved the wind. Storms used to scare me when I was little but now I want to stand out in the field and feel them coming. I want to just stand outside and let the wind engulf all my pain and sorrow at the moment.

Oh wind of the world
Engulf me with your power
Surround my feeble mind with your strength.
Bar the world from my soul and
Protect me from the rain.
Your power will end the pain.

So much to write about but I’m in the moment right now. In the moment with my shoes off, socks a little stuffy smelling, feet pulled up in my chair crossed legged. Some how with my shoes off I think more clearly. It’s a down day again. I had a brief happy moment the other day with the boys on the tire swing. But even being in Walmart brought on anxiety and stress. The pit of my stomach aching and was only worsened by attending a religious event with 100’s of people. ARG! The thought works me up again. But right now at my desk I sit with my shoes off, feet semi free, I can close my eyes and imaging walking barefoot in the spring grass. You know, when it is green and full but the ground makes it cool and refreshing. mmm…. How is it that my feet and my mind are so connected? Shoes on me feet stifles my brain. My brain is so tired. I’m fighting so hard to get well. This is the hardest I can ever remember trying to get well. I almost crave a manic moment to laugh, to enjoy to not ache, to not feel pain. I know that’s not good. I want clarity. I want to be whole again not just temporarily but completely for all times. So until then, I’ll slip my shoes off, feel the cold tile on the bottom of my feet, and feel all warm inside…clear headed for a brief moment…slipping my shoes off!