I hear it all the time. “Make time for writing”. We all know that is the key but we also know that it is easier said than done. So I either continue to beat myself for it; forget it all together; or I get over it and sit down, take a deep breathe, and breath their release on to the pages.

I tend to write by emotion. I write best when I'm over emotional. Unfortunately, things have been pretty positive. Now that's not something you say very often but I've found that my writing is more fluff than substance. That's actually pretty sad that I do my best writing when I'm miserable. But I think emotions open the door to our creativity. It let's us open up to the raw power and let words fill in the painful gaps in our psyche.

When I write positive things they tend to be humorous and while that's all well and good I feel silly about it. I suppose because it makes me a little more human and real than the serious stuff. Plus, it makes me feel less productive. I don't know why because writing is writing. Words come out to communicate. To tell a story. To entertain. To educate. To heal. Some of my best healing comes from laughter - especially the laughter I get from my kids. They are the funniest and coolest people I know. How on earth they got that way despite me is beyond my imagination. But for all its worth I have to step out of my dark, gloomy, thought provoking comfort zone and just write. After all, I don't write to publish the next great American Novel (although we all secretively want to) I write because well, that's what I do. It's part of who I am and what I will be. Just like air, water, food, writing is a necessity for me. It makes me feel complete even if no one else sees it. If they do see it, it doesn't  matter. I didn't write it for them. I wrote it either for myself or because the voice, the Muse within me, said to. I write to give life to the world that lives within me. I write because that is who I am.

I'm distracted. This is common. Usually I'm either distracted from the creative process, the writing, the getting the words down. Or, I'm distracted from the "work"-homework, housework, work work, life work. Either way I'm usually distracted from one and focus on the other. Today, this day, I'm distracted by it all. I need to be doing all of it. Well, I suppose I really need to be doing the work work, the school work, the house work, but I want to be doing the creative work. It's all right there at the gate crammed together so tight not one cell of any of it can break free to win their own time. My mind simply winds around and around at what it should be doing, what it wants to be doing, what it could be doing. The end results? Nothing. I have nothing to show for any of it. I haven't accomplished any work work, we won't even talk of the house work, the homework sets safely bound in its binder, and the story of the moment, the story that's been bursting to get out sets tightly tucked in the recesses of my mind. I can't accomplish anything because I can not let it all begin. Its the matter of which comes first? The Chicken? or the egg? At this point, I'm simply preparing a whole mess of scrambled eggs.

I've been drowning in school work lately but my Muse decided to drop in and inspire me. I've noticed a pattern. When my brain is on overload she pops in, my Muse that is. I suppose she's a she. I suppose she could be a male. After all, I tend to dream in a masculine point of view. Well as masculine as a female can be. Actually, (really noticed I use that word quite a bit and I really don't like the use of Actually, humph)I wonder if everyone views things in the opposite sex POV from time to time? There I go getting side tracked again. My original thought was that when I get so much on my mind that I can't control it any longer the Muse arrives large and in charge. I'm taking advantage of the visit while still trying to focus on the task at hand. So off I go to ponder the Quadratic Formula for a few hours while the Muse dances ideas around in my head. But I'm a step ahead this time...my writer's journal is close at hand.