Yes, I'm just going to babble. Sorry, this should just take a few minutes. I'm prolonging the much needed room cleaning. Why is it that Saturdays don't change when you grow up? You still have to do your chores before you can go play? Oh well. I'm happy to report other than some very pesky migraines I'm recovering from the great Mono chaos of 2011. I seem to be getting my manic self back. This past week one of my many muses came back. This one? The poetic one. She's so weird. She really needs meds but I love what she puts out there so I hope she'll stay around for a while. She usually does come around close to the big V day. Not one of my favorite holidays. Not that I have anything against love and all that. Personally, I really like love. I love it really. It's all the hype and pressure that goes along with it. I feel the same about New Year's Eve.
But I am babbling more than I really meant too. Did I have a point? Let's see. I told you I was getting better, right? Yes. I told you one of my muses was visiting? Yes. What else was there? Oh yes! I got a reclassification at work. I love that term. Like I was misclassified all along. A book on the wrong shelf. I have a littler nicer title and a bit of a higher number on the ol' pay stub too. That's always nice. I'm about to start earning it in the next few months. It's all classified. I love that too. Reclassified. Classified. We run a higher education institution but you'd think it was mission control at times.
One thing I've learned being there is that when you put a bunch of extremely intelligent, talented individuals together their egos tend to make them a tad paranoid and that's not just the teaching faculty. I'm talking about the staff as well. So when big or small changes happen in some other department they all tend to panic. We, as whole, are "transforming" system wide to change with the times and everyone is either rolling with it or buying into paranoia. You got to love it. So what my babbling is trying to say is this, some time in the future I can tell you all my exciting news about the new things I'll get to do and why I have a new title and more money. Until then no one but few know. How funny because I'm still be a nobody and what I'll be doing will in no way threaten anyone there.
On another note: I let someone read some of my work and she loved it. Why is it that when someone new reads something I write and really seems impressed it shocks me? I mean, I want to write and have people enjoy it but when someone reads something I've put out there here's the drill: I pull it up on the screen. Reread it. Question this line. That line. Reread it. Repeat. Reread it. Print it. Reread it. My heart pounds. I mentally beat myself for about twenty minutes. Reread it. Take a deep breath. Hand it off. Mentally beat myself for awhile more. Then tell myself to forget about it. Reread it. Then tell myself to just brace myself for the truth. This is growth. Then when something like what happened this week happened I'm floored. How can someone like it that much? I mean, it was mostly the poetry and to tell you the truth, I've never been a big poetry fan. It just comes out. I don't know that I could sit down and write a poem if I had to on demand. And to read someone else's and tell you what the author meant? It just depends on if they were as mentally unstable as I am.
Oh! Back to my point. I still find it hard to believe that the things that come out of my head (and heart sometimes) are enjoyed (or even understood) by others. I've always had these weird little worlds in my head that only I understand. I guess maybe I'm not so weird or maybe I'm just finding people out there that's as strange as I am. Who knows! I'm just going to roll with it and entertain the poetry muse while she's in town and wait for the prose or dark muse to come. Who knows who will visit next. They never call ahead. They never let me know when they're going to leave. I just enjoy them while they're here. Maybe someday I'll make a place for them all to live permanently in bliss.
That's all the babble I'll subject you to for now. You may resume your regularly scheduled sanity now. OH! One more thing! Just to let you know. I had so much fun last year with the A-to-Z Blog Challenge that as insane as I've been with illness the past year I'm going to participate again for 2012 so look for postings to come if you want to join or just follow along. It's in April so check back for info to come! Everyone have a great weekend. (I'm secretly, well not so secretly, praying for snow. One really good snow and I'll be quiet I promise!)
Happy Reading everyone!
Cat
2 comments:
I'll look forward to your postings. Me, however, will not be joining. Getting ready to publish the first book.
Shelly, That's AWESOME! and and excellent excuse out of the challenge this year. Keep me posted. I'd love to spread the word. So happy for you!
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