"I'm shy" "You?" laughs ensue. "There's no way YOU can be considered shy. If you're shy, so is Lady GaGa."
This is an actual conversation at a training I attended last month. Our group was looking for a spokes person. I was immediately chosen. Apparently, during the week long training I had showed myself to be outspoken. That's really not that big of a surprise for those around me now but it was the first time it really sank in to me. You see, growing up I was painfully shy. I was always hidden behind my mother's pant legs. I was that little toe-headed girl peaking around her to see who was there. Sure, when close family and friends were around I was relaxed and semi-outspoken. I've always had a wild imagination and loved to make up stories. I was a military brat who only let people get so close because while we didn't move a lot others did. In high school I hid myself with Olive Oil like long skirts and long sleeves before they were the "in" thing of the 90s and hid my long lanky body behind a mound of books. Flash forward a few decades and I'm the outspoken women who finds herself nominated to speak for the group.
The situation triggered some self inventory (personally I hate this term when workshops say it but I get it). I realize that while my toe-head hair may be going to more of a brown with sprinkles of "arctic" blonde and I've got more padding on all areas of my body...I'm so much more comfortable in my skin than I ever have been in my life. Yes, I'm still not sure what I want to be when I grow up but that's only because I don't want to grow up. Yes, I'm still a student and you know what? I will be for the rest of my life simply because I LOVE learning. (Reminds me I've got to make some posts about my Supernatural Folklore class I took this summer...amazing!). Yes, I drive a 97 Jeep Grande Cherokee with the front rubber bumper slightly amiss and the roof lining sagging a bit. Yes, I work in a cubicle the size of a refrigerator box (I kid you not) & have no jazzy titles. Yes, my house is way to small for me and the two giant boys with feet the size of John boats and one mini boy with a huge heart and a collection of end of the world survival items. Yes, I have dental problems, leg pain, bipolar, low blood sugar, need bifocals, and have inner ear issues that cause me to fall...a lot. And yes, I live within shouting distance of my parents and I'm 40 years old. (Just to clarify, I don't live with my parents just on the same property).
Yet all those things make me appreciate so much in my life. Yes, I'm outspoken. No, I'm not shy anymore. Yes, I'm happy with where I am because it's getting me to where I'm going. I'm glad that in a group of strangers I'm recognized as being outspoken in a positive way and that the shy little girl who's second grade teacher told her parents she need psychological evaluation for being to introverted now is not afraid to ask strangers questions or stand before an entire mall of people to make an announcement or even act goofy in front of strangers. I'm so comfortable with being me. With being where I am...right here...right now. So yes, I'm a spokesperson for being comfortable with who you are. If you aren't who will be? and if you aren't why not? Not to drag religion in but God loves you so who cares what anyone else thinks! Be happy with who you are, where you are.
