I found this on a friends Facebook. 30 days in pictures. I started thinking that this would make an interest blog idea. I tend not to blog for my audience but for myself. I figure it's therapeutic for me to write and if you like it that's great but the minute I start blogging for readers I lose myself. So I'm going to run with this idea. Since January has 31 days I suppose I'll add a day and make 31 days in pictures. I'll start January 1st. Hopefully we will all learn a little something about me. I know I could really use it. Here's a list of the things to come:

Happy New Year's Eve to everyone!

Today is the day many get ready to ring in the New Year. Some take stock in the year that's been and plan the year to come. I'm not a big party person. New Year's has not been traditionally a pleasant one for me. I find it much safer and much more enjoyable to make a party spread for my family and stay inside watching movies and playing board. As for taking stock in my life over the last 364 days, well, I could learn a lot from it. Hopefully, I have. I could dwell on it but that would only cause a mental lashing that would warrant more meds and with prescription coverage going down and costs going up, I'll just avoid that if you don't mind.

I am looking forward though. I'm not a resolution person. I don't believe in resoluting to be a better person. (I know that's not a word but just go with it). I am a goal person though. I am a list maker. If I make a list and accomplish something on the list I get to cross it off, put a check by it, erase it, something. If I can do that then I feel like I've worked towards something and I've accomplished it. A check mark can do the soul so good. That being said, I've make about ten goals to work towards over the next 364 days...then I'll take stock in my life.

Here's what made the list:

1. Grow closer to God...including reading my bible more than just at church.
2. Get financially fit. Work up a budget and stick to it...for real.
3. Get the house decluttered and organized. 
4. Get physically and nutritionally fit. (I have a 5k to run next December)
5. Learn to be more self sufficient. Garden more, learn to do some things without modern conveniences. That kind of thing.
6. Help others more. Do community service, work at the food bank, RAK, pay it forward. 
7. List three positive things daily.
8. Write more...journaling & creative writing. (I miss it. I really do)
9. Learn something new every month.
10. Finish my degree.

Those are my top 10. I'm sure I could list another 10 or more but I don't want to get in over my head. This list is a hand full but they are things I really want to address over the next 12 months. I won't get them all but hopefully I can make a dent big enough to cause some change in my life and promote some growth in my life.

For everyone browsing by here today...I hope you have a wonderful and safe New Year's Even and an amazing 2011!

                                                                                                  

Christmas has come and gone...for the most part. I still have some Christmas to share with Little Bit who has been at his Dad's through Christmas. Overall, it's done. I had quite a good Christmas although there's some funny stories and not so funny stories I'll share later. Now is reflection time. Time to look at the upcoming year, the last year, and all the things we think we'll accomplish over the next 12 months. I didn't make any resolutions last year so I'm good. I have been giving it serious thought this year though. I've decided I like goals better than resolutions. I'm setting ten simple, common sense goals to pursue over the next year. Hopefully I can accomplish them. This got me to thinking though. All through Christmas everyone dashes out to help the less fortunate, the downtrodden, those in need. Why only Christmas? And why only those financial in distress? This year I noticed quite a few in need of spirit assistance rather than financial assistance. I'm not saying that those in financial need don't need our attention. Not in the least. I wish I could do more to help those but since I'm not in a financial place to help them I have to look at what I can do. I ran into two great site this morning that caused the light bulb effect. You know that one, right? The one where you have the cartoon light bulb go flashy over your head with a bright idea? Yep, that one. 

I stumbled across these little freebies on Amazon this morning while peeking at the Cyber Specials I won't be buying so in the spirit of the Holidays (Christmas for me) I thought I'd share these for you listening pleasure. There are a wide variety of musical styles and songs but they're all good and best of all they're all FREE! I hope you enjoy them. I've also included a free Kindle book for the holidays as well. If you're like me and aren't blessed with a Kindle just remember you can download a free Kindle reader for your different devices Here

     

Sorry to be so neglective of this place. I've been caught up in that overwhelming thing called life. Haven't we all? I've been pretty down the past month or so. Between being overwhelmed by classes, work, kids, and the wonderful "down turn" of the economy, I've just felt that I was drowning. Atlas, I have seen the light...or rather, I've realized it's all good. Everyone is having it rough these days. One thing that I know is I can make it through anything. I was raised with a tight financial belt and I can make it. I've actually been having fun with it.

I'm so thankful for so many things and so many people. I have a wonderful family, home and job. This week I realized that while I do not have the money  I could use to buy the things my children and family want, I have been given some great crafty gifts to make things better. Yesterday I spent the day moving things around to make room for the Christmas tree. Yes I know yesterday was Black Friday. The day when all bargain shoppers hit the streets before midnight but I am not a natural born shopper and quite simply there are no shopping funds at this time. Honestly, that whole scene scares the holy snot out of me. It's turns the holidays into a contact sport.  Well, my two oldest and I moved furniture around; changing the entire dynamic of my living room...for the better.

I've found my inner DIYer once again. I've actually put pictures on the wall!! (I've lived in my house for 5 years with only two pictures and a shelf on my living room walls...ok one picture, a clock and a shelf) Anywho, if I can get my stiff body to move today I'm going to continue to peck away at my home getting it beautified for the holidays and for myself and the boys. I feel accomplished. I've also came up with a few diy Christmas things that I'll share in the days to come when I can get some pictures taken. Let's just say Google and I have found so many cute ideas using the things I've got in my craft box, kitchen, pantry, and yard. I'm like a kid in a candy store. hee hee.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday weekend and staying safe. I'm off to rub some anti-pain cream on my sore muscles and back to decking the halls. God bless and stay safe everyone!

It's hard. Too hard sometimes. I try but I still don't feel like I try hard enough. Or at least it isn't enough. Life. I'm talking about life. Please don't take this as a pity party. It's not. We are all handed certain cards in life and how we play them is entirely up to us. It's just I feel like the deck is always stacked not so much against me but everyone else is getting premium cards and I'm getting the discard pile. I made poor choices in life. We all have. Yet I stuck in there and took responsibility for the consequences of those choices. I don't regret that. Not for one minute. As a matter of fact, I am who I am today for those very consequences. A better person. I'm just tired of things always being hard. God always provides for me. That I know without a shadow of a doubt. I'm never fearful of being homeless or going hungry or freezing. But it's always so tight. I can't give my children their basic needs sometimes. They sacrifice so much and it kills me to watch them try to hide their pain and disappointment. It cuts deeper than any knife would...to the bone and then some. Basic things like more than a pair or two of jeans to stretch over a week's time. Basic things like a drink when we run to town for a school activity. Basic things like driver permits, wall coverings, new school supplies, and basic things like self esteem and self respect. I can feel myself failing in this area so badly today.

I have three amazing young men who do not ask for much but sacrifice so much. I hate feeling so inadequate as a provider. It's all on me and I try so hard to balance the roles I must be. I'm failing though. I can't give any one of them enough attention to properly complete their individual tasks sufficiently. So they are all left wanting, needing, desiring something that I can't provide. I'm tired and yet I know I haven't even begin to do enough to get the job done even the minimum.

So what's left for me to do? What else can I do to get through this? I pray and I hope that I don't damage them beyond repair when the grow up and have a life of their own. One I hope is so much better than I've given them. Every parent's goal is to provide a better life for their children than they had. I failed. I've provided such a poor life for them thus far. It will amaze me if they every look back once they leave.

But enough on my sorrow as a failing provider. I'll move past this. I always do. I'll put my happy face on once again. Make everyone around me happy and no one will be the wiser of my deficiency and maybe, just maybe, I'll pull this out of the bucket and make it all happen. Stranger things have happened.

Cat

Sent from my iPhone

I was looking forward to playing on here this evening but I've spent my evening throwing together a Spanish research paper I didn't realize was due...tonight. Thankfully it was on a cultural event and I had just heard something on the radio about a bull attack. Bingo! instant MLA styled research paper on the running of the bulls. Which is fitting considering I feel like I'm running with them only my bulls are deadlines. Work, school, household, kids, life. Everything is on a timeline and none of these seem to be working together to coordinate to keep me sane. Funny thing is, I've adjusted and there's no panic anymore - just a shrug of the shoulders, a deep breath, and carry on until the next thing comes along. So maybe I'm getting more than an academic education through out all this degree seeking madness. I'm learning endurance, patience, and definitely not to sweat the small stuff. Tomorrow's my day off and I'll spend it working on laundry, biology, grocery shopping, writing some reviews and working on some other writing projects. But best of all, I'll breathe in deep, smile, and enjoy the fact that this aging dog is learning so new tricks...not sweating the small stuff.


Sent from my iPhone

I'm playing with blogger templates and css coding so please excuse my mess while I move things around and pretty up the place. I liked my old template but it was a little too dark for me....literally not figuratively. Plus as I gain more blogger experience I sort of want a more experienced looking layout. I'm not sure if this one will stick but I'm liking it as of today. Let me know what you think or if you have any problems with any of the links or buttons.

Teaser Tuesdays is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Should Be Reading. Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

Brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want something badly enough. They are there to keep out the other people" 

— Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)

The Second is my recent read, Hide and Watch by Jill Hicks Lawson. This is a quick but a powerful read telling the story of how God's plans aren't always so clear but in due time he makes them clear. Its also a wonderful story of the strength the author had to go through her mother's illness and come out blessed in the end.


(check back in the coming week for my review of this one; plus author interview and fun and a book giveaway)

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT with either the link to your own Musing Mondays post, or share your answer in a comment here (if you don’t have a blog). Thanks

It's a fantastic Friday for me. I have a coworker who has written an amazing book that's been published!

Have you noticed that it is easy to speak of God's faithfulness in times of prosperity, but that in times of suffering, such praise becomes lost?

In Hide and Watch, a true tale of sorrow and distress, of hope and triumph, Jill Hicks Lawson shares how she was spiritually transformed by overcoming her doubt in God during times of struggle. From enduring her battle with weight, her mother's kidney disease; to experiencing debilitating infertility and painful divorce; and eventually to becoming her mother's only hope for life, Lawson's personal accounts speak to the universal human experience of suffering, both physical and emotional, providing firsthand proof that, regardless of circumstance, God is in the business of giving hope.

By recounting moments of pain and progress, Lawson demonstrates that anguish is the only pathway to experiencing the dramatic joy and peace that result from God's intervention and healing, assuring those amid the battle that, in the end, what does not kill your faith makes it stronger.

In celebration of Jill's book, I'm hosting a "Hide & Watch" week with a review of the book,  an interview with the author, games, and how could we go without a book giveaway?  So stay tuned for more details.

I've decided to follow the lead of one of my fave bloggers and participate in MizB's Reading Challenges. Starting October 1st through to the end of December 2011. Here's the premise:
For this challenge, you should…

* Think about what is most important to you in your life… is it your health? your family? your friendships? your career? ALL of the above?

* Come up with a list of 12-14 things you can do this year to make that (those things) a priority in your life (maybe one thing/focus per month?)… what can you start (or stop) doing to get the fullest enjoyment out of your everyday life? What would make you feel that you were living your life to the best of your ability each & every day?

* Keep some sort of journal to record your progress!

Since I've not slept all night I won't even begin to list my things to do this year or even consider my priorities until I have some serious REM action going on. But I am looking forward to getting to know myself better and keeping tabs on myself when comes to my self development and keeping an eye on what is truly important to me.


**UPDATED**
Still no sleep but here's my list. I'll modify it and fine tune it as the year goes on and as I change focus. I think to live a full life you have to make adjustments. 

• My Family
• Grow closer to God
• Education (obtaining AA & transferring)
• Losing weight
• Personal life (my personal life non kid personal life)
• Write manuscript

• Make time (any small amount of time) for alone time for each of my children each week.
• Pray harder….more diligently
• Work on full load of classes from  now until May. Prioritize to get this done!!
• Make time for personal time other than school work or projects at least 15 minutes every day.
• Go out once every month or two with a non-family member for fun stuff. (No work or school related activity)
• Cut back on soft drink consumption.
• Increase physical activity.
• Write at least something every day. (This needs work. I have a project I’m working and I’d like to actually get the first draft completed and assembled by then end of 2011)